Do you disagree about time spent blogging?

My husband and I have had exactly one real fight since we married. 250+ different ways. It’s this: since I’m at home, is it my job to keep our home to his standards? He agrees I do eighty percent of the housework, but what he sees when he walks through the door is the twenty percent left. And he would do one hundred percent if he had time. Does that mean I should?

He views us as a team: he brings home the bacon, and I cook it. But we can’t agree on how it’s served. Rare? Medium? Well done? Because some of my time I’d like to allocate elsewhere. Like blogging. Only he sees time going out, and no money, except for the occasional video I shoot, coming in.

This week, I’ve had writer’s block. And a clean house. He’s happy but I’m not.

Do you and your spouse disagree on the amount of time you spend blogging?

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23. April 2010 by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson
Categories: Marriage | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 13 comments

Comments (13)

  1. No we don’t. He was unemployed for 5 months about 8 years ago…he had a bird’s eye view of my life and schedule. He realized I am on 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He has since been so understanding and gracious of my time and he knows he’d rather bring home the bacon than try and keep up with me! I think all hubby should spend a week in our shoes…they’d be much more understanding.
    ~kristin

  2. For the most part, he’s been supportive but money has been very tight and I think he’d like to see me out there earning a bit more (I’m finishing up my last semester at UMN). Then again, I am a horrible housekeeper, no matter how much time I have to do it! 8-)

    Seriously, part of the problem may be that non-bloggers think blogging is just a ‘hobby’, a simple personal past-time – not an endeavor or product that we’re trying to develop and nurture. I’ve actually scored a couple of freelance assignments because of my blogging and I’d like to see how far I can that. Although my husband and I have never argued about it, I do have friends who’ve shared the tensions they’re experiencing with this issue. It is a delicate balance.

  3. This is sooooo us! I have a bunch of blog posts in my head but if I write too much he brings up how it makes us NO money. His gardening hobby makes us money and if I made money blogging he’d like it.

    We have 4 boys, 2 dogs, I watch my nearly 1 month nephew and we live on a farm. Our house is never clean. I want to honor my hubby, I like a clean home and I love to blog. But doing all that perfectly just isn’t gonna happen.

  4. We don’t really talk about it, but I do think sometimes he’s annoyed by it, but not because they house may not be spotless, he doesn’t really care about that. Blogging is my getaway, my hobby, well, besides baking. And he knows I NEED that to stay sane. We all need hobbies and things that make us happy.

  5. Sounds very familiar LOL

  6. …I don’t know anything about blogging….but I sure enjoy the beautiful pictures on your blog of my grandchildren!!!…blog as much as you want!!!…my arms ache to hold my grandchildren…for now the photos will have to do…hugs…mama

  7. Hey Jennifer, My hubby really had an issue with blogging when I first started and was blogging a lot about cooking. For some reason, he was bugged by me taking pics of food all the time. I’ve changed how I manage the blog now and what I write about – not because of him. It’s just evolved over the last year.

    I write most of my posts on the weekend now and have them in the can ready to go so I’m not writing all week. I know he’s not as bothered by it, because he recently forwarded me a study on increasing your audience. It was his quiet way of supporting me.

    It’s my personal outlet and I love it. I work full-time, we have an 8yr old, I do all the cooking and cleaning. He takes care of the dogs, trash, bills, watering the plants. It’s not exactly even. But it works. We’ve been married 19 years this summer! ay caramba

    -Kris

    PS. Love the comment from your mom. So sweet! She sounds just like my mom. : )

  8. Jennifer, since I had the same job as your husband (and he can tell you honestly that I worked even harder than he does :) ), and now I have the mommy job, I can tell you one thing——-being a lawyer is sooooooooooooooo much easier. If he brings it up again, tell him to give me a call! I think just that threat will make Matt reconsider his view of your efforts.

  9. It’s funny because my husband understands that blogging is my hobby (aka outlet) and he likes that I’ve been able to work some angles for freelance work, etc. with it. But I haven’t figured out a good schedule for my writing time yet…and fit in writing when and where I get a chance…which is often at times that he thinks would be better served doing some other pursuits (usually housework related since I am a not a gifted housewife…though we agreed that is my domain since I’m a SAHM…). He does get excited with my when my traffic increases or I get more Twitter followers or whatever…but gets annoyed with my blogging time too. I think if I got a writing schedule down that was mostly during down times (or times when my husband isn’t home – LOL!) then there wouldn’t be a problem! :)

    I’m sure if I started bringing in a notable income from my blogging/writing then he’d have no problem with it! ;)

  10. My hubby, while he won’t say it, thinks I waste far too much time on the computer…but he’s finally understanding that I NEED this…
    Yes. I NEED this. I have met soo many amazing, wonderful & talented folks in the last couple of years…It has helped me regain my sense of who I am…who I used to be –
    I lost a big part of that after I had babies…it has helped me reconnect and find myself…

    He picks up a majority of the housework these days – (we both work about the same amount of hours though I do mine in 4 days at the office-he does 5) Is that fair? prolly not – but if things out of place in the house drive him crazy – then sorry – do it yourself babe!
    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

  11. For the most part I don’t get any grief on it. But I have gotten a lot better than I was before. I really do work hard at not going on unless kids are at school or sleeping and he sees that now.

  12. It’s funny because my husband understands that blogging is my hobby (aka outlet) and he likes that I’ve been able to work some angles for freelance work, etc. with it. But I haven’t figured out a good schedule for my writing time yet…and fit in writing when and where I get a chance…which is often at times that he thinks would be better served doing some other pursuits (usually housework related since I am a not a gifted housewife…though we agreed that is my domain since I’m a SAHM…). He does get excited with my when my traffic increases or I get more Twitter followers or whatever…but gets annoyed with my blogging time too. I think if I got a writing schedule down that was mostly during down times (or times when my husband isn’t home – LOL!) then there wouldn’t be a problem! :)

    I’m sure if I started bringing in a notable income from my blogging/writing then he’d have no problem with it! ;)

  13. Thankfully, he doesn’t think I spend too much time blogging. After blogging intensely for 9 months and feeling guilty (and I’m not catholic) for spending so much time on the computer, I’ve slowed down a bit. I am trying to lose my desperation and comment counts, I want to focus on the joy that it gave me in the first place and the joy that still is. I want to share things I learn, make people laugh and give myself some respite after a long, long, long hard day at work. I also want to watch TV, write, read, relax and just be………..hoping that one day the publishers come calling :-)

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