Could you protect yourself?
Today some girlfriends came over for a play date. We drank coffee on the patio while our little ones poured sand on each other. We talked about writing, our weekend, and the sex offender who lives a couple blocks from us. None of us feel safe jogging alone anymore. Or taking our kids to the woods. Which led to the topic of self defense: how can we best protect ourselves?
Because each one of us had a what if story: one friend wrestled with a stranger who attempted to drag her off a train, accusing her of stealing his wallet, shouting he was taking her to the police (nobody intervened, although she was just a teenager). Another friend reported an inappropriate approach by her father’s boss. And the statistics back up their experiences: 1 in 5 girls between the ages of 13 to 26 will be assaulted, and 1 in 7 overall.
But I haven’t thought about self defense since college. I took a class one semester I found empowering. I left believing I could roll a grown man over my shoulder and slam him to the ground. Because I had my own what if stories: the guy that got too close, or whose suggestion for a late night walk set off an alarm somewhere in my body. But I thought I’d grown up and out of that threat range. Only I haven’t, as evidenced by the stalker / rapist / ex-pimp down the street (who, by the way, is living with his fiance. And you think your marriage is hard).
So I was excited when Al Horner, an ex-Navy Seal and founder of Not Me!, spoke at our women’s club about how we can best protect ourselves. And while unfortunately I missed his presentation as our 1-year-old came down with the flu, he was kind of enough to tell me afterwards about his program. Because apparently every attack has the same sequence, and he’s come up with a signature move to thwart off an attack.
What I find interesting is his approach goes against what we’ve been taught. “Say to yourself, ‘I am not going to be a victim. I am going to fight this.’,” Al said. Accept that you will get hurt. And whatever you do, do not let your offender isolate you.
What was your what if moment?
“NOT ME!” offers private safety and self-defense trainings for groups of at least 8 in number, corporate trainings for mixed sex groups, and situation specific safety and self-defense trainings. For more information contact them at NOTMEtraining@comcast.net.
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This is so similar to Gavin DeBecker’s approach. You must check out his books – The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift. His #1 rule is to NOT let your attacker take you somewhere else.
Wow – thank you so much for sharing!! Because you never know!!
Unfortunately I had one of those moments not too long ago. Last week early morning (but really not “early”… there were plenty of other people out) I was coming around the south end of Lake Harriet. I always run up along the dirt next to the bike path, and this was under that tree-canopied section. A man was up standing there and there were no bikers on the path near me at the moment, and before I knew it he pulled his privates out on me with this terrible grin on his face.
I obviously kept on running and screamed something at him.. probably ridiculous. When I got out of the trees I told the first two ladies I saw, and asked them to call the police. It was the same day as the LH Festival, and there would be kids all over the place. I just don’t understand how people like that get anything from doing that… I clearly took no pleasure in that. Shock value maybe? I’d love to take a self defense class… and actually might in the spring to finish my PE requirements for my degree. (Yes.. gym class in college. Required. I love it!)