Lovin’ My Bubble, Not our New Neighbor
I used to say I didn’t care about money. I’d wear the same jeans I wore in eighth grade if they still fit, and I happily drive my mother-in-law’s old minivan. But then our friend (aka The Sex Offender) moved in.
“He has to live somewhere,” Matt said, and I realized there was something I did buy. Or thought I bought. Comfort.
We live in a Bubble.
And pushing The Sex Offender out of our community because he cannot afford to live here just pushes him into another one, among people who can’t afford to buy their way out of the problem.
I used to live on the border of Harlem, in an apartment so small it lacked a living room. At night, I walked the streets alone to catch the subway. But now I have children and the wisdom that comes as you age of what can happen, along with the hormones of a mother bear. And I like my Bubble.
But do I really want to raise kids in it? You learn tolerance through exposure. (Not that we’re inviting The Sex Offender over for dinner.) And it’s adversity that teaches. So how do you protect your kids, while making sure they don’t become too sheltered?
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Jennifer
I usually cruise through here and enjoy the small and thoughtful tidbits you present about daily life. I like the way you take the “typical” and make it provocative. But today you have really got me thinking because you have taken the provocative (well actually the horrifying) and forced us to address a difficult subject that may be more “typical” than we dare imagine. I don’t have children and can’t know your exact turmoil. But I admire the way you think, and I know you will handle this situation as well as possible. GREG
Really interesting post. I think we tend to think (or hope) we can control anything and that there are simple answers to everything. We could not be more wrong.
It’s also true that wealthy people often push problems out of their own world and into the lives of the less fortunate.
This is a very thought provoking post. I don’t know that I can put my finger on one certain thing I knowingly do, but my son does not play in the neighborhood without me so I guess I don’t know. I am definitely giving this topic some serious thought. Thanks for making me think on this important topic. I guess I have lived in a bubble too.
Your posts makes me want to pull up the state sex offender registry to see whose living next door to me. I hate to say it, but I’m not sure if there is anything you can do but monitor your kids in the neighborhood and when they are old enough, talk to them about the person (u may not want to be specific) and let them know there are a few bad people in the world. For me, if my child was old enough to understand I probably would tell my child the exact person that they need to stay far away from. But this is totally due to my upbringing in areas that just weren’t the best, and my mom being truthful with me actually went a long way when dealing with certain situations. Also, my husband’s a cop, so there is no end to the horrors I hear about, so we heir on the side of truthfulness when it comes to safety.
All we can do is instill some Stranger Danger in our kids and keep an eye on them. In elementary school some of my boys went through a course called radKIDS put on by the school that taught them rudimentary things they could do to avoid an adult who intended them harm.
Good question. We recently switched our kids from a sweet little private parochial school (read: wasp heaven) to a city charter elementary school. It was culture shock at first, but we (and I say we, because I’m learning with them) have learned to celebrate the diversity.
As with all problems / issues, talking is the first step to any solution.
That is tough. I think I would feel violated and put off that the sex offender chose my neighborhood.
BUT I would try to extend grace to this person and not stir anything up for them. They have probably “done” their time and hopefully trying to better their life.
Visiting from BF FF
Sometimes once I let my imagination run away with me I can work myself into quite a tizzy of whatifs. I have even had myself to the point of hyperventilation in the middle of the night. My motto with people around my children is “Trust No One!” My 3 yr old is never unsupervised but I do allow my 11 yr old to play outside……of course our closest neighbor is a half a mile away and we have a gate across our driveway…….Yeah…….don’t listen to me……I am SOOOOO in the Bubble!
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love Gregs response its a tough balance for sure your a great Mum
I think it is hard to have balance. I tend to be over protective. Stopping from Mom Loop.
Oh yikes… We live in a nice family walkable community. I looked on the sex offender registry and we have 3 that live in our neighborhood. But – those are only the ones who got caught and had to register. I am certain there are many more. Totally something that freaks me right out – keeping open communications with your kids is the best way to enable them to defend themselves. In my unprofessional opinion!