Undecided: Brand

I’m dreaming of a dishwasher that doesn’t require me to hand wash our dishes first. And one I can hear the TV over when it’s churning. Like a Bosch, which we had in our first house.

Photo courtesy of Bosch

Pros: Energy Star model, quiet, efficient, half load option, a sanitize option if you’re still on your first child

Cons: Pricey. But considering how much can go wrong with a dishwasher, maybe this is the place to splurge?

But, if you buy Thermador’s range and double oven, you get their Sapphire Dishwasher for free. Or for $200 you can upgrade to their Stars Saphire for the silverware drawer.

Photo courtesy of Thermador

Pros: It’s free! If we buy the Thermador range and oven.

Cons: Can’t think of any.

Miele would be perfect if we go with a modernist kitchen.

Photo courtesy of Miele

Pros: Customizable with a cutlery drawer. And wow. It’s Wi-Fi enabled to notify a Miele monitoring center of any difficulty.

Cons: Again, expensive. But this is for our forever house, right?

Asko comes with four racks, and settings like “plastic”.

Photo courtesy of Asko

Pros: Tested to last for 20 years, and open and close 300,000 times. But did our kids test it?

Cons: Probably the most expensive option, but its interior has the best design.

And finally the KitchenAid Architect Series.

Photo courtesy of KitchenAid

What dishwasher do you have? Is it your friend—or foe?

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capital range photo

Photo Courtesy of Capital

blue star range photo

Photo courtesy of Blue Star Cooking

I am suffering from decision fatigue. Already. Because look at the character provided by this duel fuel range by Heartland.

heartland range photo

Photo courtesy of Heartland

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Undecided: Brand, stainless steel or cabinetry

Last week we toured a showroom hunting for a refrigerator (we, as in me and our monkey of a son, who swung one handed from door to door). I can’t get excited about refrigerators. They perform just one function: food storage. So my selection criteria is simple: Long lasting (ever since I became a mother, nothing upsets me like having to re-do an item I’ve crossed off my to-do list, especially when it involves waiting for repair people), must not topple on said 5-year-old, and the price, well, how much are you willing to invest in a fridge?

I love the idea of a Sub Zero fridge (especially this one, coming in Summer 2012). Maybe because it’d blow our budget.

sub zero refrigerator photo

Photo courtesy of Sub-Zero/Wolf

Pros: You know it will last.

Cons: I’ve already blown my budget on the Wolf. Mentally (we haven’t bought it yet).

Then there’s the Thermador.

thermador refrigerator photo

Photo courtesy of Thermador

Pros: Sits higher than other refrigerators, so produce is at eye level (and therefore I’ll remember to use it). And with their current promotion, if you buy a refrigerator, you get a hood for your range for free.

Cons: I like saying Sub Zero. What can I say? I’m shallow.

And KitchenAid.

kitchen aid refrigerator photo

Photo Courtesy of KitchenAid

That’s it for today’s “research.” Our kids are painting in our home somewhere, and probably not on paper.

Which do you like? Which do you have experience with?

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Undecided: Brand and number of burners/griddle (is it as easy to clean as they say, just scrape and wipe with club soda?)

I’m in love with this Wolf Dual Fuel Range. I think it’s the red knobs.

wolf range photo

Photo courtesy of Wolf

Pros: It’s beautiful, a statement piece. Simmer mode so low you can melt chocolate without fear of burning it.

Cons: It costs a fortune. But I’m willing to give up a bathroom for it.

The Thermador Professional Series comes with a warming drawer for nights Matt works late. But it doesn’t come with red knobs.

thermador photo

Photo courtesy of Thermador

Pros: Second oven can double as steamer. Buy their range/oven, get their dishwasher for free. Streamlined for a clean look.

Cons: Small oven.

For a real statement piece, we could go with Vikings’ Classic Series and pick fire engine red.

Viking range photo

Photo courtesy of Viking

Do you have any experience with the brands above? Which would you recommend? Which would you not?

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Last night, we made Advent wreaths at our church. We’ve been trying to become more involved in the community there. Because our children are at the age where we need teach them what we believe in, what our family stands for, while we still have their attention. But they’ve got questions we can’t answer: Why do you light the purple candles first? What is the pink candle for? What happens when you light the last one? Does that make Jesus rise from the dead?

And religion today feels different than it did when I was growing up, attending a Catholic school, where all lessons were black and white. How do you teach when you believe in a gray area that the institution you support doesn’t?

How do you teach religion in your home?

***

For this meatloaf recipe, we used our leftover croutons (you could do bread crumbs as well). The kids devoured it, eating about a half pound of meat each.

Man, I thought diapers were expensive. They’re nothing compared to appetites. For all things.

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The sports. Where do I start? When I was growing up, I played all sorts of sports: soccer, hockey, softball, and even lacrosse, before it became popular for girls. Today it seems you don’t experiment; you specialize. I’ve been trying to resist it, to let our children explore. But then you see that flicker of talent and you ask yourself: What if? What if I miss this opportunity? What if they do? It’s hard not to confuse your dreams with theirs.

***

No recipe to recommend tonight. I screwed up this ribs recipe (short on time, I opted to broil, which left the ribs too tough to chew). So we stared at the ribs while eating rice and roasted broccoli. (Our dog, however, loved them.)

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We strung our Christmas lights yesterday, and lit our first fire of the season. As we listened to the wood crackle, our kids danced around the living room.

It’s hard to believe that Matt and I are approaching our 10th anniversary, that our children have grown up enough that we can have an actual conversation again. We find ourselves with the energy to do the things we’ve been intending to do for years now, like start traditions, ways for our kids to remember us, to remember our family, when the first snow falls.

When I interviewed food bloggers about their favorite Christmas holiday recipes, what struck me was how much a familiar smell invoked a memory for them. A Thanksgiving menu is easy. But Christmas? The possibilities feel endless.

***

I’m into ways to use up ground beef. It keeps well in the fridge, and it’s a less expensive meat. This Serbian Ground Beef, which we made tonight, finds its way to our table often. Another great way to use up your leftover veggies.

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Our boys found a wooly bear caterpillar rolled up in our alcove today. The caterpillar, I think, was preparing to hibernate, but our boys had other plans. They built a cage for it using my water pitcher, fetching sticks and grass from our backyard. Our almost 3-year-old daughter, ever helpful, flung handfuls of dirt in, and they cried out. But I was glad to see them play outdoors for so long, their heads bent together. When I was growing up, I roamed free, splashed in our neighborhood creek, and fell in love with nature. I don’t know how our children will learn to appreciate the solitude nature brings when they have so few opportunities to explore it today without an adult by their side. But maybe that will change as they grow older.

***

There are certain foods that are pretty forgiving, meaning you can hide what’s left over in your fridge in them, and neither your children nor your husband will notice. Namely enchiladas, tacos, soups, meatloaf and lasagna, which is what I made using our leftover turkey tonight. I substituted the Parmesan cheese (which we rarely have) with cheddar. And I like that this lasagna uses sour cream, which we usually stock in our fridge, rather than ricotta. I never think to buy that.

How do you use up leftover food?

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We finally got an offer on our home, a low one, but it’s negotiable enough. And now it has sparked a debate between us: where now? Where do we move while we wait for our home to be built? Or perhaps the better question is, what defines you? Is it your home, or your neighborhood?

For me, it is our neighborhood. Where my friends are. Where our children play with friends they’ll eventually be classmates with and I know who to call when a day has become long and hard. I can’t stand the thought of moving away from it all. Not for six months. Or not for my greater fear, two years, if our project gets delayed.

But for Matt, it is both. He is more willing to commute to live in a home in which he is comfortable. A house that feels like a home, that has space for us to move and breath, places for our children to play.

Which is more important to you?

***

Tonight, I made a casserole with our leftover hot chili. I placed it in a baking dish, and poured this cornbread recipe over it. I substituted 1/2 cup of butter for the vegetable oil (how does a cook run out of vegetable oil?) and raised the baking time to 45 minutes.

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In my first article for More.com, “Renew Your Spirit,” I wrote about how one catalyst started each woman’s reinvention. When you’re at home, sometimes it feels the professional world moves ahead of you; you’re two steps behind it. And you need to figure out how to catch up.

What I had lost while at home wasn’t so much my ability but my confidence. So, like Zoe Francois, I took a class. It was through MediaBistro.com, and having my articles critiqued by a professional writer gave me the confidence to pitch editors again. And not take failure personally.

Have you lost your confidence?

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