Unplanned Cooking

Do you work the second shift? And egg fried rice.

Today, Matt’s trial comes to a close. And he returns home from Oakland for good. Then life will slow for us, just a little bit, which I hope will let me catch my breath.

Because I would like to get back to work. Writing. Really writing. But with his hours, I struggle to find a balance between my personal and professional life.

One of my girlfriends, who is also an attorney, came over on Monday night with her son. “Most of the men I work with have wives who stay home,” she said. She jostled her baby on her hip. “The job almost demands it.” Because there are so few hours left at the end of the week to take care of household chores.

It made me think of the women like her who don’t have a spouse who stays home, and what it must be like to work that second shift when you walk through the door. Where do they catch their breath?

Or, when you both work, is parenting shared more equally? Is housework? What do you think?

Without Matt here, I’ve been catering to our kids’ taste buds. Because the joy for me comes from sharing in a meal. Last night, we made Egg Fried Rice to use up the last of this week’s CSA box, spring onions and carrots.

Egg Fried Rice, adapted from my son’s preschool:

  • 4 cups cooked rice
  • 2 egg
  • 1 tablespoon oil
  • 2 scallions, chopped
  • 1 tablespoon garlic
  • 1 carrot, chopped
  • 1/2 cup frozen peas, thawed in water
  • 4 slices cooked bacon, cut into pieces
  • 2 tablespoons soy sauce

Beat eggs. Stir fry the cooked bacon, scallions, garlic, carrots and frozen peas in oil. Then, add rice one cup at a time.

Add eggs and stir continuously until the eggs are done. Add soy sauce before serving.

This post is a part of Real Food Wednesday.

Posted by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson in Food, Marriage and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

How much space do you need in a house?

When we first toured our current home, we fell in love with it in part because of its master bath. We envisioned it as our private retreat. I loved the idea of soaking in warm water after we tucked our children in bed. And Matt, I think, thought the walk-in closet would organize me.

At least nothing is on the floor.

But after we moved in, to our surprise our master bath felt cramped.

“Maybe we should build separate closets,” Matt said, as we talked about how to lay out our new home.

“Or an alcove for the bath,” I said. Because we always seemed to be bumping into each other.

However, after reading Sarah Susanka’s The Not So Big House book, I realized we’d fallen into a trap home builders and buyers often do: we think bigger is better.

But the issue wasn’t that our master bath wasn’t big enough. It was how we lived in the space.

Homes, Susanka writes, require both private and open spaces. “Sometimes we feel like being with others, and other times we need solitude.” Yet our bathroom has no door on it. Which makes it a sort of gathering space. And not a very sanitary one.

Well, this is awkward…

And by putting our only bath in our master suite, our children, their toys, and their towels are constantly underfoot. Before I bathe, I must clean. So much for a private retreat.

Mommy, can I get in, too?

Susanka says we often mistake quantity for quality. But size and volume do not equal comfort. A bathroom door does.

What room in your house works for you?

Bundled Green Beans welcome us home

While traveling out East, I couldn’t figure out how to feed our kids. Because restaurants that catered to families offered burgers, hotdogs and fries on their kids’ menu. Which I couldn’t understand. Because we teach our children basic life skills like how to read and how to swim. Why don’t we teach them how to eat?

Healthy snacks like apples, nuts and raisins we label choking hazards. Yet we don’t label hazards like dyes, especially Red 3, a known carcinogen which goes into some fruit roll-ups.

We tried stopping at grocery stores to stock our hotel room mini fridges, but there is only so much pasta salad a person can eat hunched over. And so I gave in and swore once I returned home I’d never feed our kids fried food again.

Yeah. Anyway.

When I got back, I was excited to dig into our CSA box from Hog’s Back Farm: crispy sweet corn we boiled that first night, a ripe tomato, white onions, spearmint for mojitos to celebrate a friend’s 40th this weekend.

And green beans, which we’ve bundled in bacon and placed in an airtight container in our refrigerator to roast tomorrow night.

Green Bean Bundles, adapted from Paula Deen at The Food Network:

  • 1 pound fresh green beans
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon garlic
  • 3 tablespoons Parmesan cheese
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Bacon

Mix olive oil, garlic, salt, pepper, and parmesan cheese in a mixing bowl.

Wash green beans and trim tips. Blanch (place in boiling water) for 3 minutes. Then place in cold water for 6 minutes to stop the cooking process.

Toss green beans in mixture. Wrap 5 stalks per piece of bacon.

Bake at 350 for 10 to 15 minutes, until bacon is cooked.

How do you feed your kids on vacation?

This post is a part of Real Food Wednesday. Even though it’s Friday.

Posted by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson in Food, Parenting, Travel and tagged with , , , , , , , , , ,

Mommy’s Day Off

Today Matt returns home from Oakland, after 4 1/2 weeks at trial. We’re excited to see him. Our 5-year-old has set out his newly lost tooth to show his dad while our 3-year-old practices his tackles against my legs. And I’ve made an appointment at a salon because his re-entry point into our family trips us up every time.

And so today we’ll decompress before we come together. What this past four weeks has taught me is that I can do it alone, but I don’t want to.

So while he takes our three children to breakfast, I’ll sit beneath a dryer with my hair in foils, reading a magazine, and drinking a cup of Caribou coffee. I want to feel whole again. Starting with my hair.

Posted by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson in Marriage and tagged with , , , , ,

A night of luxury: Hope Lake Lodge

We’re back, finally, at home in Minneapolis, with more than two outfits to wear, which makes us feel spoiled, almost, after spending four weeks on the road. Our routines support us here; I know when I can get breaks and when I can’t. But when you travel, you’re treading water. And while you know you can make it, you’re not always in the best form when you surface.

But before we left, Hope Lake Lodge in the Finger Lakes treated my mom and I to a stay at their resort. I knew the terrain well; I’d spent my childhood tumbling down ski slopes at Greek Peak Mountain across the street.

We walked into the room, dropped our bags and gawked. There was a sunny bedroom, a kitchen, a deep bath and a stone fireplace. We’d spent nights cramped in hotel rooms, sleeping two to a bed. Here, we could spread out. We could sleep without feet in our back.

It was like being home without being home. And that, I think, is what luxury is: the seamlessness of it all.

Our boys slipped their swimsuits on, and we walked to the indoor water park. They splashed in the wave pool, doused me with water guns and slid down the slides.

When our lips turned blue, we soaked in the hot tub, which stretched from indoors to out beneath the mountains.

There is so much beauty on this Earth.

I’m always struck by the topography of the places I visit, whether it be the unexpected jut of a mountain or the shocking starkness of a desert. We all lead such different lives, but we’re tied together by our dependence on our land.

The next morning, our boys woke when the sun rose. We hiked to the lake and its sandy beach. Our toddler picked wildflowers while our boys chucked rocks. And life seemed so simple in that moment that I wondered why we complicate it.

The only thing missing?

Matt.

Disclosure: Our room was complimentary, thanks to Hope Lake Lodge at Greek Peak Mountain Resort.

Their staff was wonderfully delightful, and the lifeguards were so attentive that my mom and I almost fell asleep poolside. We enjoyed the food as well, which we found fairly priced.

First four photographs copyrighted by Hope Lake Lodge.

Posted by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson in Brands, Parenting, Travel and tagged with , , , , , , ,

A monument of love: Boldt Castle

On our drive back to Ithaca, we stopped at Boldt Castle in the 1000 Islands. It was built by George C. Boldt, millionaire proprietor of the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City, out of love for his wife, Louise. Only she died suddenly at age 45. Boldt, brokenhearted, ceased all work on the castle, never returning to the island again.

I sure hope I don’t share her fate.

“Where’s the king?” our 3-year-old asked. And as I got caught up in his search for the knights he thought ransacked the place, I wondered what is a better approach to parenting: following their imaginative lead or teaching the truth? Maybe it depends on who you are. Half the time I still can’t tell the difference between fact and fiction in my own head.

As he chattered, I snapped pictures of the rooms I liked. Because now that our family is building a house, I’m always searching for ideas and visualizing how we’d use a space. Like think of the parties we could throw in this ballroom.

I could wear my wedding gown! If I could fit into it.

Or the conversations Matt + I could have in this sitting room.

How was your day, dear?

It’d be a room that celebrates us, a place where we could reclaim who we are as a couple after our children go to bed.

Because I remember who I was before we married, but I struggle to remember who we were before we had children. And in a sitting room, we wouldn’t stare at dishes we’d yet to clean or reminders of what jobs tomorrow brings. We would just have each other, and maybe a glass of wine.

Because a house isn’t built to be a monument of love. It’s built to celebrate the love you find in it.

How do you show your love for your spouse?

Quiz: How much money does it cost to get to the North Pole?

It just so happens that the North Pole isn’t where you thought it was. It’s here, in the Adirondack Mountains, alongside a steep mountain road. And today we drove through a sheet of rain to get there. Our 5-year-old stuck his hand out the window and, when the rain pelted it, announced, “We’re getting close. I feel ice.”

“This is really the North Pole! I thought it was cotton, but it’s ice.”

Our boys want a Wii, and for months now I’ve been telling them to write it on their Christmas lists, hoping they’ll forget about it. No luck. And so today they dropped by Santa’s house to talk to him. For $17.95 per person.

“I want a Wii, and a jumping motorcycle, and Lego Star Wars, and a doll for my sister…”

Only Santa was more interested in getting a group photo of us.

For $14.99, I ordered an “ornament” to surprise Matt for Christmas. But during pick-up I saw that that price was just for the photos; the globe ornament in which to house them was over $20. On principle I refused to buy it. So now I have 4 smaller-than-wallet-size photos of my family on Santa’s lap (me, included, because our toddler wouldn’t stay with Santa and who can refuse the big guy?) if anybody wants one. You can’t blackmail me with it though.

We walked over to the reindeer barn to feed Rudolph.

“Do they fly? Do they really fly?”

Each child got a bag of crackers for $1. I considered feeding those to the kids, rather than pay the snack prices, but the elves were staring at me.

“I’ll put our fire out to make sure you don’t burn your hooves.”

We walked to the blacksmith to see how reindeer shoes are made. They were only $3 each, but when you have three children, your mind automatically multiplies everything by three. Especially prices.

“Do they hurt when you put them on?”

Then I saw a sign for free face painting, so I went in. A freakin’ toy store.

“I want you to draw a bat on my face! …okay, a present then.”

I should have bought the damn Wii.

All joking aside, our children loved the magic of The North Pole and I highly recommend it.

Posted by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson in Parenting, Travel and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

Living the good life: Lake Placid

We arrived at the airport on Friday to find our flight was oversold. By 10 seats. “Should I stay?” I asked my mom, because Matt’s trial lingered on and the thought of returning to Minneapolis without him there made me lonely.

“Definitely,” she said.

So we gave up our three seats for $1200 in credit vouchers, only our car seats and suitcases didn’t make it off the plane.

My blood pressure shot up: How would we leave the airport without our car seats? “Just go with the flow,” my mom said, and I took a deep breath. And went with the flow. After all, it’s not like they checked my IPhone.

Delta loaned us three car seats and gave us a clothing allowance. And the flow took us here, to Lake Placid, a vacation spot – home to two Olympics – tucked in the Adirondack Mountains in Upstate NY.

Because I don’t see my mother as much as I would like. And during our last week together, a pulled muscle and the heat got to her. It was the first time I felt stronger than her, better equipped to take on the responsibility of three lives.

As we drove through the mountains, I realized I was the hub now; she was along for the ride. And I asked her if she is afraid of dying, now that she has fewer years ahead of her than behind her.

And she said, “No. I have lived a good life. I know you girls are able to take care of yourselves – and your children, if need be – and that was what I was put on this earth to do.”

Maybe that is why some days my joy mixes with sadness when I see a reminder of the growth in our children: a new haircut, clothes the next size up, feet no longer squeezing into a shoe.

We move off this earth to make room for others. And I hope, like any other mom, that I’ll be here long enough to teach our children how to take care of themselves. Because one day it will be their turn to carry on, and my job is to see that they are fit to do it.

What is your definition of a good life?

Posted by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson in Parenting, Travel and tagged with , , , , , , ,

The Grumpy Jack Review: CSN Stores

It’s our last day in Ithaca; our kids are wiped out and so am I. It’s taken a toll on us, sleeping together in one room. We go to bed when the last child falls asleep, and wake with the first, which means nobody is getting the rest they need.

We’ve had a blast traveling with my sister + hanging out with my parents, barbecuing in their backyard before the heat wave set in. But now we’re ready to go home to sleep in our own beds and settle back into a routine.

But before I leave, my dad’s reviewing a toaster he was given by CSN Stores Years ago he managed to buy one at a discount store for $6.99 and he was reluctant to part with it, even to try a Cuisinart Metal Classic 2-Slice Toaster. Because fancy brand names don’t impress him; he simply expects products to work.

Disclosure: In exchange for his thoughts, my dad received his toaster free.

Posted by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson in Brands and tagged with , , , , ,

American Pride: What makes a great leader?

While in Washington, DC for the 4th, I felt optimistic about our country, and surprisingly nonpolitical. Because reading about our founding fathers’ vision made me proud to be an American. I was reminded of a speech Pulitzer prize winner David McCullough gave at the State Theater about what makes a great president.

He began with the pressure we feel today as parents to be on the sidelines of every sporting event. His father, he said, never watched his or his siblings’ games.

“We knew where he was. He had a job.”

And as we walked down the streets, I thought about how the knowledge of where Matt was – buckled down in a conference room – should give our children pride. Because there is value in knowing mom or dad is out supporting the family.

“The Greeks said character is destiny. Our whole way of life in this country is based on the value of the individual… Our system only works because of the responsibility of individuals.” — David McCullough

We want our children to learn that you do have to work for what you want in life, even if it comes at a price, because you are responsible for you, and, at some point, others, too.

Then he spoke about what his father wanted most for him, what we all want most for our children: a chance at a better life, starting with a better education. And it saddened him to think a good education had become suspect in a president.

Because events happen, McCullough said. What matters is that we have “responsible, inspiring, intelligent leadership.”

Throughout history, we’ve elected leaders we’ve believed in, leaders like Franklin Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln, with little to no military experience.

Nobody is up to being President of the United States. It’s a job that far exceeds the capacity of any one individual. — David McCullough

Take George Washington, for instance. He served during the French and Indian War, but had never commanded an army in battle. Yet he was chosen to lead the Continental Army at age 43 because of his judgment, his character, his integrity.

What Washington had, it seems to me, is phenomenal courage—physical courage and moral courage. He had high intelligence; if he was not an intellectual or an educated man, he was very intelligent. He was a quick learner—and a quick learner from his mistakes. He made dreadful mistakes, particularly in the year 1776. They were almost inexcusable, inexplicable mistakes, but he always learned from them. And he never forgot what the fight was about—“the glorious cause of America,” as they called it. Washington would not give up; he would not quit.

I left Washington DC with gratitude for the sacrifices our forbearers made for their ideals. We are a nation founded on integrity. On character. There is a reason the system they put in place still stands.

What makes you proud to be an American?

Posted by Jennifer Jeanne Patterson in Parenting and tagged with , ,